A family should be a foundation
of all morale and practicing good manners. We (family members) should be
capable of making our home, a good academy or a sacred place.
House – an Academy
To form a Child’s personality and
character, our own house is the most influential place than any worship place or educational
institutions. This influence shows its foundation during the period of
childhood. Parent’s deeds and behaviors
are most important here. Each and every
word, sentence, activity etc. may make way for wonderful changes to a child’s
thinking at his/her age. If each
activity of parents intends to a positive side, this may root cause an equal
electro-magnetic waves to the neurons of
the newly growing brain of the children. Whereas, if the activity
intends to the negative side, this may cause to a contrary effect. Here we can
see an indirect paradigm, cause to a direct influence to the formation of
character in children. Eg: if a parent
does his duties, love family, involve in public helps and this will surely
inspire to very good effect upon children. Here, even if there is no need of
good advice, there is a strong guidance
to follow him and sway to become a good person with good self-esteem. Support
of Super Ego of his mind, makes him to secure every quality of life. On the
contrary, if a parent does not do his duties or love his family or society, a horrific
result will be seen in the behaviors of children. Here the pressure of Eid
exceeds and supports him to do every wicked activity. Because he got a bad exemplar
and justifies himself that “I got a bad example and why should I not be so?”. Whereas, if the parent
thinks that I have a bad experience, because of my deeds and it should not be borne
by the offspring, and he becomes a good man, then this may become a good
inspiration to the children to become a good person.
Spending
time with children
In this modern life, very rare
people have ½ hour time to spend with the children. The children always like to
have the expression of love towards them. To understand a child’s mind, parents
should themselves become as like as a child and step down to their mind. Who
has time to spend with the child telling some short stories, jokes etc.? The
main culprits are Watching the T.V. serials. In the modern life, these serials or T.V. programs have become a
main part of formation of character among children.
Businessmen will never get time
to spend time with children. If parent do not express or exhibit the activity,
the children never understand them. So it is important to show off the action
before children. Otherwise, the minds will be like two poles. Children think
parents are not loving them and parents think that “still we love the children
so much, why they don’t understand us”. Some parents think the love is
providing enough money and all facilities to the children. But spending
sometime with them, a call with love, a touch, an indulgence, a smile at them,
these are enough to make them understand that the parents are loving. Then only
they will realize the true love and affection of the parents.
It is a good encouragement to the children if the environment of family’s situation
is very good. The child always observes every elder member’s activities and
behaviors. If a family is in a criminal background, there is no wonder if the child
goes to a juvenile crime by imitating elders at home and there is a chance of child
become criminal in future. They always justify themselves that their family is
also in same path. Even then rare people are there who have become good individuals,
by studying from the experience and consequence of bad background of the
family. Eg: A mother doing hard work in daily wages. Father also doing the same
job. Father being an alcoholic, vanishes the earnings earned even by mother and
slowly family sinks into misery. Everyday mother mourns and seeing mother’s mourning,
the son may not follow his father’s path in future. On the contrary, he may
take life as a challenge and become good person.
Guardian/parents
be role-models
If the parents are living with
love and care without any insurgence at home, it will be a good inspiration to
the children. Anyhow imitation starts at home as the children who watch every movement
of elders at home, secondly from society, school, and peer group etc.
In some brain parts like hippocampus,
frontal cortex, there are some neurons (mirror neurons) which absorb the image
in front of eyes like a mirror and
encode it in brain. This continues up to the age of 11. So in this
growing age, parents should take care to show good manners to them. In these
days, prayers at home seen very rare (in any religion). Somebody thinks this
will be the reason of children’s bad nature. Let us think, only by a prayer or
visiting a worship place, will a child become a good person? Ok, those are not
bad, but the most sacred place is our own home. Everybody tell to children,
please love God and we will be blessed. How many parents tell them to love
others as themselves? Love, care, patience, sharing, tolerance etc. are studied
by the activities of parents.
Today, no children have time to
read good moral books, educational books etc. When reaching teenage period,
where the children entering into the threshold of maturity, immature thoughts
(sorrow, fear, enmity, jealousy etc.) removing time (dendrites pruning time),
the influence of the growing circumstances, than the instinct, exists in the
brain. This is the time to develop good thoughts and involve in the creative
works. If we show good moral character, we can make our home a heavenly
place. We can make our home a temple of
goodness with an extra-ordinary serenity.
